Dear Marriage Mechanics,
My first wife passed away about five years ago in a traffic accident. It was hard but I got over it. Recently, I met this wonderful woman who I am very attracted to. She seems to be exactly what the doctor ordered.
She is beautiful, out-going, smart, very people friendly.
My family says that I should take my time because she is thirty-nine and has never been married. I am forty-five
What's your advice?
Signed Ready Again
Dear Ready Again,
Thirty nine and never married is a red flag. Especially if the person is handsome or very beautiful and shapely. A red flag doesn't mean that something is wrong. It means that there is a need for further inquiry and investigation.
When something is a good or a "hot" item it gets purchased. Only spoiled, broken, and unwanted items are left on the shelf.
Nonetheless, let's not be over zealous ànd assume something is wrong. Sometimes a very noble trait can be mistaken as a flaw to the casual glance. Especially, if someone has disciplined themselves to wait on a suitable mate. This, of course, is the ideal, and where over thirty-five and never married is the exception.
Being in your position as a widower, however, I have found to my dismay that the red flag meant red flag. Over thirty-five and never married most of the times means there is an underlying issue. It could be: was very promiscuous, unhealed psychological wounds of molestation, abuse, or mental and emotional instability. These run suitors away and, of course, makes a relationship impossible.
Additionally, a woman over thirty-five may be very independent and find it hard to embrace submission and household responsibilities.
Needless to say, much prayer and very careful examination of this product is required. Marriage is a very, very, serious thing and should never be entered into lightly. Choose wisely.
"I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. For some are alraedy turned aside after Satan." (1 Timothy 5:14-15)
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