Why Do Good Women Love Bad Men


Dear Marriage Mechanics,

This has bugged me from high school.  It seems like the good girls always get involved with bad boys who hurt, cheat on them, lie to, and abuse them.

Why? Signed Puzzled


Dear Puzzled,

Great question.  It does hurt all of our hearts to see the trail of pain,  anguish and broken lives left behind as a result of bad choices.  However, life is very very simple.  We make life difficult for ourselves.  Fear God and keep his commandments.  This is the whole duty of man.

First, let me answer the underlying misunderstanding and premise of your question.  No one is good. We are born in sin and shappened in iniquity. Only God is good and whatever good that is in our lives comes from our connection with him.   And, if we are good, we will wait on his choice and not our own. 

Like all of us, it's the good girls' pride, fear, and insecurities that lead to very asinine decisions. Women get involved with bad men for the same reason men chase bad women: the flesh and looking at the external. Most women get coraled by handsome or charismatic-silver tongue-men. He makes her feel good but he is not good.  Some like men for what their things: money, house, car, etc.  Others are impressed by his intellect or reputation.

The world is never what it seems.  The world is spiritual and we are just scratching the surface of reality if we are being motivated by what we see, hear and feel. People are never who they appear to be. The bad is always covered by a layer of fake gold and good is usually unattractive and insignificant. 

For example, Jesus was rejected because he wasn't good looking and came from a poor neighborhood.  He was the true king of the world.  David was overlooked because he kept sheep, and wasn't tall or muscular. 

We need the Holy Spirit, our spiritual microscope, to see the inside of the human heart.  He knows the truth and will show us, if...if we depend and truly rely on him, instead of our intellect and feelings.  Bad choices are faithless choices, made by a bad and misguided heart.

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones."  (Proverbs 3:5-8)

Marriage Mechanics

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