Systemic Dysfunction

Thought of the day



Most people struggle in relationships.  Most don't understand why.  Systemic dysfuction is hard to understand or uproot because it is usually normalized in a person's life. It may have been the way they  were reared.  It may be a dysfunction in their culture.  They may have experienced some traumatic event in their lives.  As a result, they have strongholds or very twisted, contrary, antisocial, and  unproductive mindsets.   

For me, it was fear of confrontation.  Afraid of, and a failure to address problems.  I would see an issue but be afraid to confront the issue because of fear of rejection. This cause me problems as a supervisor on my job and in my marital relationship. I was emotionally handcuffed by a systemic dysfunction.

Looking back, this dysfuction is rooted in my relationship with my mother.  She was a great mother but  was hurt from a bad marriage.

As a single parent, she fussed a lot to get her point accross but never took the time to encourage or coach me through life's hurdles of puberty, having your first girlfriend, understanding sex, etc. 

As a result, I developed social insecurities as aforementioned. For some people, they were verbally abused, molested, raped, grew up in a culture where abuse is normalized etc.  And, it leads to systemic dysfunction; it's embedded in your psychology and will continue through you to others especially your children. Hurt people hurt other people.

For most people, like me, our systemic dysfuction never gets treated. Imagine growing in a culture where doing witchcraft, polygamy or abusing women is normal.  Or growing up in family or culture where incest of verbal abuse.

To make matters worse, when we are confronted about our dysfunction, we become irritated and angry.  We don't want to lose the good feeling it gives us.  It's an embedded stronghold and we see healing and deliverance as the enemy. We resist and shoot to protect it.  But, if...if we can only humble ourselves and let go.  If we can humble ourselves  and stop agreeing with the devil of pride, we can be delivered and freed.  Jesus is merciful and still a deliverer!!

"Who can understand his errors? cleanse thou me from secret faults."  (Psalms 19:12)
"Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."  (James 5:16)

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Marriage Mechanics

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