Ask Marriage Mechanics
Dear Marriage Mechanics,
My husband is a control freak! He doesn't allow me to make any decisions. Whether it's our money, shopping, disciplining the children, he always wants the final say.
I feel very stifled and claustrophobic. I can really use some good advice.
I hear and feel.you. It is hard for any woman to feel secure in her marriage if she is not allowed freedom to be herself and to be an equal contributor.
Nonetheless, your interpretation.of this may need tweaking. Feminism has destroyed most marriages and homes by flipping godly order.
Men and women are not to "submit to each other." That is confusion and precisely why we are producing litters of homosexuals and transgenders. Children become confused about their gender when there is no divine order in the household and husband and wife don't play their correct role.
The man is the head, however, his leadership should always be tempered with humility and sensitivity. He should listen to his wife and incorporate her good ideas. However, he is the leader and should never surrender or relinquish that position.
If you feel your husband is being insensitive and controlling, confront him. Leader does not mean drill Seargent or Auschwitz concentration camp supervisor. Loving our wives, means we allow them freedom of choice We allow them to chose to obey and submit. We don't force them. On the flip side, a good woman will never disrespect or do anything to undermine or rebel against her husband's authority.
"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this anner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement." (1 Peter 3:1-7)
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