Updated: May 13
Dear Marriage Mechanics,
My husband has been bugging me almost every other night for anal sex. I have never done this and I can't bring myself to agree.
I love my husband and want to please him. Should I just compromise, and at least try it? And, by the way, didn't the Bible say that the marriage bed is undefiled?
Afraid of the Backdoor
Dear Afraid of the Backdoor,
When the Bible says that the marriage bed is undefiled, it is talking about fornication and adultery.
Marriage eliminates unlawful sex. However, the marriage bed is not the place of abuse where we practice sexual acts against our spouse's conscience.
Your fear of this backdoor is justfied. It was designed as an exit. It is not designed for penetration. Homosexual sex is never natural and also unsanitary.
The rectum was made to excrete waste not lovemaking. Most people who practice this very sordid lifestyle wind up in diapers or even worse. (Please read personal experience below)
There are also diseases that heterosexual couples get who practice anal sex as bacteria are pushed high into the female's sexual organ. This is the reason women are taught to wipe from up to down to avoid fecal matter getting into the very delicate tissue of the feminine reproductive organ.
Whereas a woman should submit to her husband as long as the submission is not against the word and will of God, compromise is always a bad word. Truth should always prevail. In other words. we pray and trust God to give wisdom and order our steps. Adam compromised; it brought death. Abraham compromised; has Israel surrounded by insanely jealous enemies. Solomon compromised and he backslid away from God.
Discuss your reservations with your husband. You can also share my answer with him. Trust God for resolution. Whatever you do...don't compromise!
I encourage you to read the story below from a woman who compromised.
My husband always demanded anal sex. Although I never enjoyed it, I always allowed him so that he will not go out. My friends said that there are thousands of girls out there who will give it to him, considering his good looks and money.
I decided to play along just to have a happy relationship. Since then, my tummy has been paining me. I have had several poop accidents in my panty. The problem now is that there is this clear water coming out of my anus. It stinks badly so I have to wash my anus constantly.
It is also very embarrassing. People at close range notice the smell is from me. I have to insert cotton wool which is not helpful. I get wet often. I have not been to my shop this past week because of the water coming out and soaking my underwear. The smell is worse. Since all this started happening, my husband has refused to make love with me. He said that I smell bad.
He avoids coming close to me. When I try to get close, I can tell from his face that he can’t stand my smell. The embarrassment and inconvenience of having cotton wool inside my butt is so frustrating. I can not continue like this. I am even ashamed to go to the doctor. I smell like a rotten egg. Please, is there any traditional cure for my predicament? I need help before I do something bad to myself.
Anal sex is not natural!
"For this cause, God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet." (Roman 1:26-27)