Dear Marriage Mechanics
I have been going out with a very beautiful and sensational woman.
I want to marry her like yesterday and will be proposing within a week. She is fun to be around and makes me feel like the world!
However, there is a drawback. She never likes to talk about her past. She says that the past is the past and we should just enjoy the future. My question to you is this: since it is the past, shouldn't I just let it go?
Let's Move On
Dear Let's Move On,
I agree the past is the past and we should move on...if that is possible. However, this relationship is very fishy, especially when someone is not open, honest, and forthcoming.
Remember, one of the fundamentals of selecting a great mate is not how they make you feel, it's are they really a good person. A person's past is paramount to knowing if they are a good person when making a lifelong decision.
If you wanted credit from any financial institution, they would want your credit history. Well, if you want a relationship, we need to see your relationship history. Your history is your story of choices and decisions that define you. In other words, all the feel-good stuff doesn't define you, it's what you do that defines you. Relationships are built on trust and transparency not feelings.
Character can change overnight through the wisdom and grace of God, however, if that is so, a person would never be ashamed to talk about a past that they now find disgusting. People who hide their past are prideful and very vulnerable to falling again. They are also manipulating the image that you see to look all good and rosy.
That's not real. It's a fantasy. We need to know all the truth. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Furthermore, if she has a promiscuous past, it shows lack of discipline and untrustworthiness. Choose wisely!
"The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion." (Proverbs 28:1)
"Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;" (Colosians 3:9)
"Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." (James 5:16)